Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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