and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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