Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
