I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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