yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize