Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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