Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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