so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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