Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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