Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize