There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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