Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize