My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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