did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
