He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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