I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
