His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
