Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
