idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
