Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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