i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize