Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
