With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
