Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
