If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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