Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
