i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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