we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
