Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
