That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
