I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
