IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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