Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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