I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
