DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also, beer. Big fan.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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