I heard we made out
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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