He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
