Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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