you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found puke in my bra..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
