I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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