I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
