I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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