If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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