Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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