ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
