Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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