i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
