So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize