when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
