I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
