he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille