Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".