her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.