The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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