Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
