And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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