It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
