I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize