Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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