I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
