You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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