I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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