If that was your dad, he is hot
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
