is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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