i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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