I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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