apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?