Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
