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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (817): View more from Texas

  despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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• (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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• (253): View more from Washington

  So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.

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