Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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  (408): I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure http://tfl.nu/8j71
  Replies (28) Good night (577) Bad night (1785)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.

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  (337): I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week. http://tfl.nu/rnvn
  Replies (27) Good night (4819) Bad night (903)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (8035) Bad night (1430)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

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  (414): Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her. http://tfl.nu/4z7e
  Replies (12) Good night (4716) Bad night (1276)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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  (517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj
  Replies (15) Good night (5662) Bad night (1032)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.

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  (941): I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged. http://tfl.nu/0scq
  Replies (2) Good night (1967) Bad night (761)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?

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  (215): Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard? http://tfl.nu/x05b
  Replies (12) Good night (688) Bad night (1059)
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  (424): View more from California

  Update: I may or may not be in a cult

  (424): View more from California

  Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult

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  (424): Update: I may or may not be in a cult (424): Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult http://tfl.nu/yyf4
  Replies (9) Good night (1760) Bad night (543)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising

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  (434): I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising http://tfl.nu/mvai
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (547)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent

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  (972): I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent http://tfl.nu/4hg2
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (414)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?

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  (903): is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex? http://tfl.nu/7moc
  Replies (7) Good night (407) Bad night (400)
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  (315): View more from New York

  If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic

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  (315): If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic http://tfl.nu/6igt
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (214)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.

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  (360): Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out. http://tfl.nu/frsu
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (196)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes

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  (337): If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes http://tfl.nu/zesw
  Replies (5) Good night (350) Bad night (126)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

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  (606): I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015 http://tfl.nu/1f2y
  Replies (5) Good night (167) Bad night (156)

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