They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.