I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.