I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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